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Boganomics

April 2, 2011

I find all matters economic pretty riveting. I do, however, understand that many would rather arrange their sock drawer. So for those who think economics is dry, dull and tedious, this is the economics for you – boganomics.

Boganomics is the study of all things bogan and proponents of this field claim to perform a crucial role in Australian society. Apparently, bogans may tell you they want to bed you or glass you, but are less adept at articulating their many other wants and needs. This is where the boganomist comes in – they are effectively the unofficial mouthpiece of the bogan.

Several high profile boganomists regularly collaborate and share important findings from their ongoing research. A thorough reading of all their work is recommended but as a starter, please enjoy the following snip from their latest article.

Negative gearing is the lifeblood of cashed up bogans nationwide, asking only that the bogan be greedy and territorial in order to have the federal government bankroll the bogan’s pathway to millionaire status. With a proud tradition of greed and territorialism, the bogan’s bank accounts have never told a negative gearing tax rebate to “piss off, we’re full”. Due to there being nothing more Australian than owning more of Australia than the bogan needs, any proposed measures to curb negative gearing are, by definition, un-Australian.

For generations, the government has acted as buffer between bogans and reality. Each incoming government receives three years in which to convert the bogan’s mutually exclusive set of desires into things that are easily achieved by all bogans. This can be done via private debt, but preferably public debt. If, at the end of the three year period, the bogan feels that it has been exposed to too many of the consequences of its own actions, the government will be voted out.

We at Boganomics Laboratories™ have worked tirelessly to develop a means of measuring the impact of negative gearing on the bogan and its home-buying behaviour. Effectively, as houses become less affordable the bogan is infuriated that homes it does not own are more expensive, while simultaneously thrilled that its assets are now even more overvalued. This level of fury can now be measured: in TerrorHurts (THz). A carefully calibrated metric intended to prevent unnecessary build-ups of bogan rage, one TerrorHurt is equivalent to the amount of bogan rage unleashed in a binary poll on a Fairfax website.

The bogan’s acute sensitivity to the price of housing is often completely unrelated to any traditional battle to keep a basic roof over one’s head. Instead, house prices are more seen, along with the interest rates set by the bogan-hating cretins at the RBA, as the level of headwind facing the bogan’s empire-building aspirations. While the bogan eagerly embraces rises in house prices that lead to capital appreciation in houses it already owns, the same price rises that are also pushing up the cost of houses it doesn’t currently own (but wishes to own) are unacceptable. While the excellent policy innovation of negative gearing does some of the work of placing those additional houses within reach, the discord in the graph above illustrates a profound failure by government to deliver to the bogan the things that it needs.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. jenny brown permalink
    April 2, 2011 8:26 pm

    You are right this is way more interesting.

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  1. The lighter side of the Aussie housing market : third wave group

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